iShipWreck
by schillingklaus
Summary: returning from Japan, the iCarly gang shipwrecks on Maui. Spencer is saved by Zoey Brooks whom he believes to be a mermaid.


** iShipwreck**

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** Klaus Schilling **

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PG-13

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iDon't Own _Zoey 101_, _Drake & Josh_ or _iCarly Show_.

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I don't own any of the quoted songs.

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**Abstract**

**Fandoms. **_iCarly_, _Zoey 101_, _Drake & Josh_

**Summary. **On their way back from Japan, Carly's gang shiprecks on Maui

**People. **Carly Shay / Dustin Brooks, Spencer Shay / Zoey Brooks, Fredward Benson / Samantha Puckett, Nevel Papperman / Megan Parker, Marissa Benson / Chaunsee, Chase Matthews / Addie Singer, Lola Martinez / Drake Parker, Quinn Pensky / Josh Nichols, Malcolm Reese / Helen Baxter, Melanie Puckett / Vincent Blake, and many more

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**Table of Contents**

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Preface

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1. Homeward Bound

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1.

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1.

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1.

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1.

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1.

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1.

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1.

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2. Back To Seattle

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2.

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2.

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2.

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2.

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2.

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2.

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3. Happy Birthday, Zoey!

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3.

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3.

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3.

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3.

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3.

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3.

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4. Queen Of Mermaids

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4.

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4.

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4.

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4.

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4.

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4.

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4.

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5. Première

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5.

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5.

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5.

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5.

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5. The End

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** Preface**

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**Note**

Written for _LiveJournal_-community _Paranormal_, claim : _Zoey 101,Drake & Josh, iCarly_, prompt _Mermaid_

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At first I imagined it to be produced by a shoal of fish sporting on the surface, but our savage friends assured us that it was caused by a shoal of "whinhenies" (young girls), who in this manner were coming off from the shore to welcome us. As they drew nearer, and I watched the rising and sinking of their forms, and beheld the uplifted right arm bearing above the water the girdle of tappa, and their long dark hair trailing beside them as they swam, I almost fancied they could be nothing else than so many mermaids-and very like mermaids they behaved too.

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-H. Melville, _Typee_

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** Chapter 1. Homeward Bound**

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**Time. **the Monday after the web-show awards

**Place. **on board of a fishing boat going out from Yokahama Harbour

**People. **Carly Shay, Spencer Shay, Samantha Puckett, Fredward Benson, Marissa Benson, various fishermen (background)

Having received the award for the most entertaining web show, the time had come for Carly, Fredward, and Samantha to say good-bye to Japan.

They refused to fly in a cargo plane, thus the only choice they had was going by ship.

Needless to say it was not exactly a luxury cruise liner that they had been granted to board, quite the contrary, a rather fragile fishing boat was going to be their home for the forthcoming few weeks.

The boat had been set adrift, and now they were leaving the safe harbour of Yokohama behind.

Mrs. Benson complained about the security of the boat, or, rather, the lack thereof. Needless to say, she insisted in Freddie wearing a life jacket. She had also bought a harpoon, just in case a few sharks were going to show up somewhere near Freddie.

Freddie sighed. He didn't mind meeting this or that sea monster, his main problem was that one land monster with long, wavy, dark blond hairs. No shark could bite worse than Samantha Puckett.

Spencer tried to make the best of their situation. He started entertaining his gang. "Hey! I'm Captain Hook![[1]]". He swang his arms widely.

A gentle breeze from astern seized Carly who looked back at the sea gulls that had been following them so far, since they had lifted the anchor at Yokahama's.

She was not mentally at ease.

It was a damn' long route across the mighty Pacific, and their only means of communication with the outer world was Freddie's GPS-based phone.

And the batteries were not going to last forever …

In any case, Carly swore to strangle Socko, whoever that was, as he had arranged the trips to and from Japan, or so hasd they been told by Spencer.

In Tokyo, they had not got enough time left in order to to enjoy sushi, their favourite food.

Alas, for the next four weeks, sea food was the only edible thing they were able to get, and they had to fish it with their own hands.

* * *

**Place. **apartment of the Pappermans, Seattle

**People. **Nevel Papperman, Yuki (phone), Kyoko (phpne)

Nevel had been waiting for news from Tokyo.

But his patience was exhausted.

He took his telephone, and started to dial a very long number. "Sayonara … This is Nevel Papperman …" He was annoyed by the way Japanese people pronounced his name, and he corrected them brashly. "Listen, did you humiliate iCarly?" Then he was consternated.

Yuki and Kyoko had to admit failure.

This was a very tough thing to do for a Japanese guy.

"What? You have failed? Carly won the whole thing?" Nevel was bitterly disappointed because he had entrusted the wrong guys, two losers. "I'm not interested in listening to your poor excuses! Oh, Kyoko, call me!" whispered he suggestively.

Alas, Yuki was severely protective of his twin sister, and he commanded Nevel to never bother her again.

Nevel went totally pale. Not only had his henchmen failed in making Carly rue the day, he had also been forced to give up on another potential girlfriend. And he knew that Yuki wore a black belt, as did virtually all Japanese guys, especially those who had sisters to protect. Sighing bitterly, he had to see that it would have been better if he had come to Japan in order to take care of Carly and the gang with his own hands. But, as soon as they were back, he would try to strike again.

But when was that going to happen?

* * *

**Time. **a few days later

**Place. **same fishing boat, approaching Hawaii

**People. **Carly Shay, Spencer Shay, Samantha Puckett, Fredward Benson, Marissa Benson, various fishermen (background)

The gang bitched and moaned.

The crew of the boat had told them that they were going to be set ashore on Hawaii. Another means of transportation was going to await them.

Carly wondered what that was … maybe boats carved from a single tree, as she had seen in all those movies about Pacific islanders.

Freddie talked about the times when Captain Cook discovered Hawaii.

"The turtle eater?" Sam belched. She had eaten all the fish, leaving none for Freddie, but she was still incredibly hungry. "I could swallow a whole giant turtle in a whim!"

Surprise, surprise! Freddie knew that Sam was insatiable.

Head winds blew, but the sun was still as strong as ever.

Mrs Benson stabbed away with her harpoon because she thought that a shark had been approaching Freddie, but she had been mistaken …

Her harpoon was stuck in a dead albatros.

"A dead albatros means bad luck!" remarked Spencer.

Carly stared oddly at Spencer.

Sam would have liked to devour the dead bird, but they were not allowed to make any fire on board of the fragile boat.

And with Spencer's bad luck, the ship would have been set ablaze in virtually no time.

Not even Sam did want to risk that. And eating raw poultry wasn't even in line with Sam's taste [[2]] . Hence she refrained from digging her teeth into the meat of the half-rotten albatros.

The sky went slightly darke

r. Clouds piled upon clouds.

The formerly gentle winds became stronger. Now they hit the boat athwart.

Mrs. Benson had always feared that Freddie might become sea-sick.

In this moment, her nightmare was about turning into bitter reality.

Freddie tried to deny it, because he knew that Sam was going to make fun of his health problems, real or not. He had to empty his churned stomach into the open seas.

The crew of the ship laughed and pretended that this was just plain normal.

For a moment, the gales appeared to calm, and the waves beguiled themselves.

Suddenly, a strange sound was heard from afar.

The crew's members seemed like in a trance. They steered the boat into a different direction.

Carly asked what was going on, but there was no such thing as a reply.

The churned seas turned rougher and rougher with every mile.

The sky darkened more and more.

Freddie screamed in agony.

Spencer sang some old love song.

Sam remained as cool as possible.

Mrs. Benson threw herself on top of protesting Freddie, trying to prevent him from being blown off the ship.

Carly was the only one remotely aware of the danger, but she didn't understand what had been going on. She screamed when she felt the boat bursting into smithereens. Spencer, unlike his friends, refused to duck and hide. He had such a great affinity to the waters of this world, the boat and the fish and whatever belonged to them.

Little wonder, the next wave that hit the boat swept Spencer into the open sea.

Carly screamed in agony when she noticed that Spencer was no longer among them. She started weeping. Was that the revenge of the endless amount of goldfish that had been killed by her brother?

* * *

**Place. **Maui Beach, near Hotel Chambrolay

**People. **Zoey Brooks, Dustin Brooks, many anonymous tourists (background), Spencer Shay (later)

Zoey Brooks, a blonde of seventeen years, was watching over the beach in front of Hotel Chambrolay on Maui, one of the greater isles of Hawaii. She had been hired as a life guard. Alas, she sighed deeply. She hadn't imagined her job to be that hard.

Yet there was something that had made her sumnmer harder, regardless where and why.

During the last months, she had cheated on her boyfriend Chase - who had spent that time abroad - with some tall blond rake named James Crendle. Inspite of trashing James right before her Junior Prom, she could not trash her remorses.

Chase had appeared during her prom night, and everything had seemed to be wonderful, Chase even agreed on following Zoey to Maui for her summer job, until Chase had recognised a locket that Zoey was still wearing, a locket reading "I love you - James". Chase had been upset, and he had broken with Zoey.

Now she was standing here, all alone.

Well, not quite, her little brother Dustin had accompanied her to Hawaii, but that wasn't the same.

The sky was grey, and strong west winds blew ashore.

The waves were rough and irregular.

Zoey enjoyed her job at sunshine, but gales and mist made it a torture.

Strictly spoken, her job was only about saving guests of the hotel, and she knew that they had all returned from the beach, as commanded by the local police.

But Zoey was too much of a caring person, she also watched out for those in need that were not guests of Chambrolay's. Then, she spotted a human shape drifting in the brine, close to the horizon. The sea was still rough, but Zoey didn't hesitate jumping into it, and trying to rescue the helpless victim of the gales and the waves.

Dustin was worried when he saw Zoey cutting the waves. Alas, he didn't try to dissuade her, for he knew that he could not stop her.

A few minutes later, Zoey returned with the unconscious, wretched body of Spencer Shay.

Dustin adored his sister's courage and vigour. Alas, he seemed to know that guy from the interweb. But he couldn't exactly say where and when he had seen him.

Zoey sent Dustin away, because he couldn't help much more. Then she applied a kiss of life upon Spencer, breaking his comatose state.

Spencer turned conscious for a moment. Alas, he appeared totally overwhelmed, and fell asleep.

Zoey sighed. She couldn't do anything anymore. She had to drag him to the hotel's medic.

* * *

**Place. **Same beach, half a mile apart

**People. **Carly Shay, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Marissa Benson, Dustin Brooks

Dustin had walked the beach. All of a sudden, he had noticed a boat that had been washed ashore, burst into smithereens. He couldn't trust his eyes when he identified three of the passengers: "Freddie! Sam! Carly!" Now he was standing next to the wrecked boat.

Carly's bones hurt, but what hurt her a lot more was the loss of Spencer. "Where are we?" She started weeping sadly. What did it matter anyways, now that they had lost the greatest brother and friend in the world?

Dustin told them about Maui and Hotel Chambrolay.

"You know us?" wondered Freddie.

Dustin nodded. "Your show is the best!" He beamed.

Sam suffered more from hunger than from the impact of the storm and the waves. "And you are?"

Freddie helped his mother back on her feet.

"I'm Dustin Brooks. My sister works as a life guard." He sighed. Suddenly, he remembered whom Zoey had saved from the waves. "Spencer!"

Carly choked. "Have you seen him?" Carly's hopes had gone up in no time, and better she was not going to be disappointed again.

Dustin nodded, and talked about Zoey's action.

Needless to say, Carly, Freddie, Sam, and Marissa followed Dustin to the Hotel, as they had to see Spencer as fast as possible.

* * *

**Place. **the foyer of Hotel Chambrolay on Maui

**People. **Zoey Brooks, Spencer Shay, the hotel's medic, a few other staff members (background), Carly Shay (later), Fredward Benson (later), Dustin Brooks (later), Marissa Benson (later), Samantha Puckett (later), Commander Robinson (phone)

Spencer lay flat on the couch down in the lounge of Hotel Chambrolay, guarded fiercely by Zoey Brooks and the hotel's medic.

Zoey had told the medic about the circumstances.

The medic took his stethoscope and a few other medical instruments in order to scrutinise his health carefully. "And he hasn't yet turned conscious?"

Zoey shrugged. "After my first dilettantic attempts of reanimation, it seemed as if he had briefly regained awareness, but then …" She shrugged helplessly. She wasn't at med school or something like that.

The medic sighed. "And we doesn't have any papers on him that would allow for an identification. If he doesn't recover and fess up, we will be forced to go a long way …"

Zoey moaned. This had never happened before, and she had been lifeguarding for over two years.

Finally, Dustin appeared in the doorway, followed by Carly and her gang.

"Spencer," bellowed Carly, sighing with relief.

But it hurt her seeing him mindless.

Spencer remained totally apathetic.

"You know him," asked the medic.

Carly nodded. Fortunately, she still had got her papers on her. She grabbed her passport, and handed it to the manager of the hotel. "I'm Carly Shay. We live in Seattle, but have been visiting Japan. Now we've been on our way back to America. Then there were gales and waves and …"

Zoey nodded. "It wasn't exactly a fine day. There have been reports about several accidents on sea."

Marissa and Freddie showed their passports as well.

Dustin whispered a few words about Carly's web show unto Zoey.

Sam, on the other hand, didn't care.

Her empty stomach was her only concern.

Fortunately, she saw some light in the kitchen. She couldn't hesitate for a second. All of a sudden, she had disappeared in order to sack some fridge.

Carly talked to the medic whose face was indifferent. "Would he survive a transport to the continent?"

The medic nodded.

Carly had got some brilliant idea. She asked for a phone, as her own pear phone had been swallowed by the sharks. Then she dialled some number. "Good evening, Sir! This is Carly Shay. May I talk Commander Robinson? … Thanks …"

Freddie and Marissa stared around. Who was Commander Robinson?

Carly smiled. "Hi, yes, I'm Carly … long time no seen, that's true!" She talked to the officer for a few minutes. Obviously, she knew him very well. She described her situation.

Freddie concluded that it was a high officer of the US marines or navy or air force. They had got a large base on Hawaii. Carly's dad being a high officer, as well, it's very likely that Commander Robinson was a friend of Admiral Shay.

Dustin shrugged. Why did Carly call the army for help?

Carly grinned. "OK, thanks Mr. Robinson. And greet Missy!"

"Missy who," asked Freddie.

Carly ended the call. "Oh, Missy Robinson had been my best friend before her dad was promoted to a different base. That's a hell of a long time ago …"

Freddie shrugged.

Dustin sighed. "You're leaving us again?" He was a bit sad.

Carly nodded. "Commander Robinson will send a helicopter to take us back to Seattle."

Dustin was slightly disappointed because he was not able to spend more time with his idol.

Zoey handed Carly her number. "You may call us any time when we're back in California. We go to a boarding school, the Pacific Coast Academy, not far from Los Angeles."

Dustin smiled.

Carly nodded. "OK, will do so!"

Zoey was worried when she noticed Sam who was coming back from her excursion into the kitchen. Sam looked a lot like Zoey's old enemy Trisha Kirby, or, as she called herself nowadays, Melanie Puckett. While Trisha had turned decent as of recently, Sam seemed as rude and barbaric as Trisha had been once upon a time.

Sam belched disgustingly. "The best pork chops ever!"

* * *

**Place. **Honolulu Military Airport

**People. **Dustin Brooks, Carly Shay, Spencer Shay, Marissa Benson, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, several officers (background)

Spencer was carried into the belly of the machine that was going to take Carly and her gang back to Seattle.

Dustin shook Freddie's and Marissa's hands.

Sam's hands were full of barbecue sauce. "That dip is delicious!"

Carly shook her head. "OK, Dustin, it would be great if you could make it into our show by means of a web cam!"

Freddie nodded. "We've got that live chat cam, you know."

Dustin sobbed. "Valerie was such a pest![[3]]"

Carly nodded solemnly.

Dustin asked: "So, did you win the award in Tokyo?"

Carly nodded. "Oh, yeah, we did … alas, the trophy is now with the fish …" She sobbed uncontrollably.

Dustin comforted her by patting her shoulders playfully. It made him infinitely sad, as well.

The leading officer told Carly, Freddie, Sam, and Marissa to board the machine.

Carly waved at Dustin, before she disappeared into the plane.

Dustin sighed when he waved back at his idol. His heart had been set ablaze.

* * *

** Chapter 2. Back To Seattle**

* * *

**Time. **two days after Carly's return to Seattle

**Place. **A bedroom in St. Schneider's Hospital[[4]] in Seattle

**People. **Carly Shay, Spencer Shay, Dr. Lindee[[5]] , Fredward Benson (later), Samantha Puckett (later)

Carly was sitting next to Spencer's bed in St. Schneider's hospital, where Dr. Lindee was caring about still unconscious Spencer. "OK, doc … when will he return to consciousness?"

shrugged. "Maybe in three, or four …"

Carly moaned. "Three or four what? Days? Weeks?"

The medic shrugged cluelessly. "Or maybe five …"

"Months?" Carly was imnpatient. "Years?"

The medic didn't budge, regardless of Carly's penance stare. He whistled a merry tune, which upset Carly even more.

All of a sudden, Spencer opened his eyes. "Hey! Where am I?"

Carly bent over Spencer's face. "Spencer!" She sighed with relief. "It's alright. You are here in St. Schneider's hospital in Seattle! Dr. Lindee is 'caring' for you."

Her voice was subtly sarcastic.

Spencer sighed with disappointment.

"Is asomething wrong," asked Carly.

Spencer sobbed with despair. "Where's the mermaid?" He swooned appreciatively.

Carly choked. "But Spencer! You've never believed in mermaids!" Carly did not necessarily disbelieve in mermaids, but she thought of them as something really scary, like the sirens from Homer's _Odyssea_, or like her favourite cryptozoological entity, bigfoot. And she knew that Spencer was hardly going to be taken serious if he started talking about having seen one, especially in such a swooning manner.

Dr. Lindee shrugged. "He must be halucinating. I guess he needs a checkup with the shrink."

Carly glared oddly at the annoying medic. "Spencer isn't insane … well, sometimes, he's a bit confusing, but that doesn't make him insane!"

In this moment, Sam and Freddie bounded in. They had heard Spencer talking. "Spencer!" They smiled while yelling unison.

Carly smiled. "He just woke up. But he thinks that he has seen a mermaid."

Freddie and Sam looked at each other, and then they snickered noisily. Unlike Carly, they thought of those beings as mere fabulous fictions that just appear in books for little kids. Spencer had refused to believe in the unicorn of one of his former girlfriends[[6]] , and now he believed in mermaids. That was so ridiculous … maybe someone had poured some whiskey into the Pacific before Spencer had been swept overboard by some gale or wave. There was no other explanation.

Spencer swooned. "She had light blond, wavy hair, and her face was plain angelic!" He described the mermaid he pretended to have seen in much more detail.

Alas, nobody wanted to hear about these.

In any case, Spencer was deemed unable to care about Carly for at leat a few more days, until his illusions wore off, if they ever did. Then he looked at his feet. "Hey!" He was upset. "Where are my socks? The plaid, shiny ones …"

Carly shrugged. The people in Hotel Chambrolay must have removed his footwear when they had to examine his reflexes. She checked his tickle reflexes, and they worked greatly. "They could be lost in Hawaii …" She sighed as she knew that Spencer clang a lot to those socks that his "pal" Socko had knitted for him. A fine comrade! Socko had organised the cargo machine that took them to Tokyo, forcing them to parachute over the city. And he was also responsible for the fragile boat that took them from Yokohama to Hawaii where they shipwrecked because of the fragility of the boat, and the folly of the crew.

* * *

**Place. ** Seattle, Bushwell Plaza, the loft of the Shay family

**People. ** Carly Shay, Spencer Shay, Grandpa Shay, Marissa Benson, Fredward Benson

The old man, i.e. Carly's Grandpa, had come to Seattle Bushwell when he heard about the incident. "I've already thought about taking Carly with me to Yakima," admitted the old shark, "but I think that Mrs. Benson is a good temporary overseer for Carly."

Carly sighed. It would hurt her a lot if she had to go to Yakima[[7]], but Mrs. Benson as an overseer was a pain in the guts.[[8]]. There was no way that Carly would ever have wished for either of these alternatives.

Freddie grinned sadistically, just like the little pervert that he was. He was looking forward for Carly moving in with him. Maybe they were going to share a room? He looked forward to moving their beds particularly close to each other.

Marissa agreed with the suggestion of the old Lord. "OK, I'm going to do my best!" She shook hands with Grandpa Shay.

Carly moaned with dismay. She had to think over and over about Spencer's obsession with mermaids. Then she had got an idea. The description he had given of the fabulous being he pretended he had encountered was not quite unlike the lifeguard girl that had saved him, Zoey Brooks, except, of course, Zoey was a normal young woman with two legs, instead of some fishy tail. In addition, according to her statements, Spencer had briefly recovered from his coma while Zoey had dragged him ashore. It made a lot of sense: He must have seen her face, and, as they were still in the water, he could not tell her from a mermaid. Maybe that was the key to get Spencer sane again. She needed to talk to Dustin's elder sister, and get Spencer to see her, this was going to convince him that he had just seen some particular human girl, but not a mermaid. Without saying anything, Carly sighed with a subtle relief. But she needed to get Zoey to show up in front of the web cam when Dustin was connected to iCarly Live Chat.

Spencer moaned. He didn't want to leave Carly in the fangs of Marissa Benson, but he didn't have any choice left, as hard as it was.

Zoey also swore to beat up Socko who had been responsible for the total mess by making them travel in a cargo machine and a fragile fishing boat.

* * *

**Place. **A regular plane from Honolulu to Los Angeles.

**People. **Dustin Brooks, Zoey Brooks, other passengers (background)

Zoey and Dustin were on their way back to Los Angeles, as their boarding school started into a new year.

Zoey sighed deeply. The vacations had been totally exciting, especially the day when she had dragged that Spencer guy ashore. She had had to remove his shoes because the medic needed to test the victim's tickle reflexes. His feet had been slightly smelly, but that wasn't much of an issue. What had been really strange: Spencer's socks. They were plaid and flashy. Zoey recognised those socks because … she had designed them. To be precise, her roomie Quinn Pensky had made the illumination, but Zoey was responsible for the colours and the textiles. The socks had been so familiar to Zoey, she had unwittingly failed to render them unto Spencer. Now she was sorry for that. But Spencer, Carly, and their friends were very far away, and they were possibly going to miss the socks and have no clue where they had gone to. The sharks might have swallowed them. Now, the sock was hidden in her luggage, but part of it was protruding and stuck in the zipper. Zoey stared at it, on and off.

Dustin sighed. He had been blushing on and off during the last days, since the shipwreck. He had tried to hide it from his elder sister, but he wasn't really able to deceive her. He decided not to talk about it, but he knew how circumspect Zoey could be.

Zoey noticed Dustin blushing again. "So, who is she?" She knew that Dustin was not going to fess up on site. "Which girl set your heart on fire? Tell me!" She applied some tickle torture to her brother. "It wasn't the disgusting girl that looked like Trisha Kirby?" She noticed Dustin shaking his head calmly, whereupon she interferred that only one person could have been responsible for Dustin's blushing attacks: Carly Shay. Zoey deemed Carly OK. She had not viewd the show regularly, but her friends who did had always described Carly as a nice girl next door, as opposed to her blond friend.

This made Zoey sigh instantly with relief.

* * *

**Time. **two weeks later

**Place. **Seattle, Bushwell Plaza, The attic of the Shay Family.

**People. **Carly Shay, Samantha Puckett, Fredward Benson, Dustin Brooks (Live Chat Cam), Zoey Brooks (Live Chat cam), Spencer Shay (Live Chat Cam)

Freddie counted the seconfs. "Online in 5…4…3…2…" He connected the webcams to the net.

Carly and Sam delivered a prologue, blathering insanely, just as usual.

But then, Carly saw Freddie lifting three fingers.

This was the sign that Dustin was connected.

They talked about their exciting adventures in Tokyo, and also about the breathtaking events on sea. They announced to introduce the guys who had saved Spencer from the sharks.

Dustin Brooks appeared online, and smiled. "Hi Sam! Hi Carly!" He blushed in an evident manner.

Carly smiled. "OK, Dustin, is your sister around?" Apparently, Dustin had to fetch her, but this wasn't much of a problem.

At the same time, Freddie opened a second livechat window, and he produced a split screen.

The left-hand half portrayed the Californian kids, the right-hand half displayed Spencer who had been waiting down in the foyer, watching the whole show with increasing excitement.

"OK, kids, you know my elder brother Spencer. He had been washed hither and thither by the raging waves and the relentless gales, and he had lost his consciousness, but this brave girl wasn't too afraid to save him from the sharks … Zoey Brooks!"

Zoey smiled. "Oh, hi! It was really a stormy day, unusual for Hawaii." She talked about how she had dragged Specer ashore.

Carly smiled. Finally, Spencer would realise that the mermaid he had believed to have seen was indeed a real girl, Zoey Brooks.

Spencer's face was relaxed. "Hi, Zoey! And thanks again! That was really close!" He smiled. Zoey looked exactly like the mermaid he had pretended to have seen. But the screen only showed Zoey's face and shoulders. Who knows, maybe she had got a fishy tail, anyways? Hidden somewhere underneath …

Zoey grinned again. "By the way, does anybody among you miss this?" She fumbled with her shoulder bag, and produced a pair of plaid socks with flashy illumination. "Sorry, I've accidentally kept this, because …" Should she really reveil that she had made those socks? She breathed heavily, and then she decided to do it. "I have invented them, well, my friend Quinn helped me."

Spencer squealed like a fury when he recognised his socks. "Oh, really?" Then he was consternated. So, this was the guy, or rather girl, that made the socks that his long-time pal Socko had always sold him? There was something smelling fishy. Spencer noticed the pun. He had to scrutinise his pal.

Carly was consternated. Was Zoey really Socko? Then she was responsible for the whole mess to and from Japan? She couldn't really believe it. Zoey was apparently a nice and uptight girl, not a filthy and mean cheater who had caused them all the trouble. There was something smelling fishy. Carly had never come to see Socko. Sometimes, she thought that he was just a poor excuse for everything Specer had messed up.

Unfortunately, time was up, and Freddie had to close the transmission.

* * *

**Place. **Nevel Papperman's apartment

**People. **Nevel Papperman

Many viewers had seen the transmission, including one of them whom Carly would not have wanted to: Nevel Papperman!

Nevel grunted. He had not wanted that Carly and her friends shipwrecked, and got swallowed by sharks, as sharks were much too humane. But he heard them talking about mermaids, those treacherous fabulous beings who lured many a naîve sailor into mortal danger. That's how he thought about Carly Shay who had lured him into what he, innocent as he was, had believed to be a date, and which had ended up in a total desaster, and dismay. So if there was one mermaid or siren, it was, beyond any doubt, that outstanding example of a cold-hearted bitch named Carly Shay. Nevel knew that Homer's sirens, who had barely failed to destroy Odysseus and his crew, just because the boss had stuffed his sailors' ears, and tied himself, were island-dwelling semi-humanoids, not mermaids. But there was not a real difference. Considering all this, Nevel Papperman decided there and then, without a trace of hesitation, to become a dedicated mermaid hunter.

* * *

**Time. **A few weeks later

**Place. **loft of the Shay family

**People. **Spencer Shay, Carly Shay, Samantha Puckett, Fredward Benson

Spencer had been back in his loft for quite a few days now.

Carly, Freddie, and Sam were checking the messages for iCarly.

"Something from Dustin," remarked Carly, and she started to smile.

Freddie turned mildly jealous.

Sam yawned. "So what?"

Carly read. "We are invited to Zoey's party for her eighteenth birthday, down at Seattle, during the next term break."

Spencer beamed. "And then I may get my socks back, baby!"

Carly nodded. "Sure! But wash your feet first! The stench of those has already killed a goldfish when you tried to bathe your feet in the goldfish glass."

"The fish wanted to die," remarked Spencer.

Carly shook her head. "We may stay in the dorms of those pupils who are away during the vacations."

* * *

** Chapter 3. Happy Birthday, Zoey!**

* * *

**Time. **next term break

**Place. **entrance to campus of the Pacific Coast Academy

**People. **Carly Shay, Samantha Puckett, Fredward Benson, Marissa Benson, Spencer Shay, Zoey Brooks, Dustin Brooks

Spencer had halted his mini-van at the entrance of the Pacific Coast Academy

Carly, Freddie, Sam, and Marissa exited. They had been bruised and torn all over, as Spencer's driving style was not exactly careful and smooth.

The car had been patched together from randon junk, found by Spencer and Socko near Seattle.

Zoey and Dustin smiled. "Finally!"

Mrs. Benson complained about her aching back. "It hurt much less after the shipwreck …"

Freddie explained where the guests were going to live. "Freddie and Spencer will live in Dustin's dorm, while Carly, Sam, and Mrs Benson are going to live in 102 Brenner Hall, that is next door from my dorm."

The guests from Seattle smiled. But they had to register at the administration office first.

Dustin also mentioned that a very special person was going to come to Zoey's party, and he was particularly interested in Carly, Freddie, Sam, and Spencer. "Oops … I've almost spoiled a birthday surprise."

Zoey hugged Dustin. "I still don't know who is coming …"

Carly insisted in getting hugged by Spencer the same way.

Sam complained. "Nobody hugs me." She pouted.

Freddie grinned, opening his arms playfully.

Sam glared at Freddie. "Not for a gazillion of bucks!"

Freddie heard a peeping sound, somewhere deep in his head. "Ouch!" Alas, he had no clue concerning the origin of the peep.

Spencer did not dare to stare at Zoey's legs, but they looked pretty much like normal legs, not like a fish's tail.

Zoey chuckled. "I guess your brother has seen too many scary movies."

Carly shrugged. "Maybe …"

* * *

**Place. **102 Brenner Hall

**People. **Carly Shay, Samantha Puckett, Marissa Benson, Zoey Brooks, Lola Martinez, Quinn Pensky

Zoey had lead Carly, Sam, and Marissa into their dorm. "Usually, Stacey Dillsen and Lisa Perkins use this dorm, but they are on vacations." Then she introduces her room-mades, Lola and Quinn, to the guests.

Carly chuckled. "Lola Martinez, aren't you an actress or so? I've seen you in _The Squeal_, by Malcolm Reese …"

Lola beamed proudly. "That was me!"

Carly grinned. "So … Quinn is behind the illumination of Spencer's socks?"

Quinn nodded solemnly. "But I'm not responsible for their stench!"

Carly wondered how she knew about the stench.

Quinn answered that some little bird had twittered something.

Marissa complained about the youth of today, but she was shut up by Sam.

* * *

**Time. **next morning , Zoey's eighteenth birthday

**Place. **lounge of Brenner Hall

**People. **Carly Shay, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Marissa Benson, Spencer Shay, Zoey Brooks, Quinn Pensky, Lola Martinez, Dustin Brooks

The friends have gathered in Zoey's lounge.

Zoey was still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, when she saw the others forming a choir.

* * *

.  
Aw, she's a jolly good fellow,  
She's a jolly good fellow,  
She's a jolly good fellow  
Which nobody shall deny!

* * *

Everyone congratulated Zoey.

Zoey giggled. "Thanks!"

Spencer smiled. "OK, and there's my, i.e. our gift for your birthday!"

Zoey didn't see it.

Sam pointed at the thing on a table which was covered by a cardboard box.

Zoey grinned. "Oh, let's see!" She removed the cover. "Wow! Thank you so much!" She beamed brightly, and hugged Spencer briefly.

Spencer had made a cake in the likeness of the sock that she had designed, exactly as he had once done for Socko's birthday.[[9]]

Sam snuck up to the cake. "May I take care of it?" She rubbed her tummy.

Freddie glared menacingly at Sam. "You don't dare to!"

Sam moaned. "But I like cakes!"

* * *

**People. **Carly Shay, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Marissa Benson, Spencer Shay, Zoey Brooks, Quinn Pensky, Lola Martinez, Dustin Brooks, Malcolm Reese (later)[[10]] , Chaunsee (later)[[11]]

So far, Dustin had not reveiled the particular special guest he had invited for Zoey's birthday.

But after hours of celebrations, Dustin's cellular phone vibrated.

Dustin read the SMS. "OK, back in a minute."

The others shrugged. They wondered who that was, maybe the special guests?

Dustin came back, followed by Malcolm Reese, who happened to own half of Hollywood, and his butler Chaunsee.

Zoey was utterly surprised.

Dustin introduced Malcolm and Chaunsee to Marissa, Spencer, Freddie, Sam, and Carly.

Malcolm congratulated Zoey.

Chaunsee bowed low before the blonde.

Marissa was impressed. Was that a real butler, like those you get to see in those good old English movies? Wow! Marissa had always wanted to get to know such a guy. They had great, classic manners. She swooned when she thought about that Victorian era, with all those noble Lords, and their loyal servants.

Malcolm Reese nodded. "Chaunsee, my notes!"

Chaunsee bowed. "Sir! Here they are!"

Malcolm thanked his servant. "OK, ladies and gents, as you know, I am one of the most busy movie producers at Hollywood. And I always need ideas for new movies. Now, a few weeks ago, I was directed by my young friend, Mr. Dustin Brooks, to a web show that is made by three teenagers in Seattle." He looked around.

Dustin introduced Carly, Freddie, and Sam to the big zampano of Hollywood.

Carly stammered: "Hi, Sir!"

Sam chuckled.

Freddie behaved quite formally, pleasing Malcolm.

The producer nodded. "OK, usually, we Hollywood producers tend to look down at those volunteers-based web shows, and there are even some black sheep in my branch who abuse them shamelessly."

Carly knew of a few, such as the Dingo team[[12]] , and the boss of TVS[[13]] .

Malcolm continued. "Alas, that one web show, _iCarly_, is different from all the chaff. Whatever, the webcast that I viewed was about some Spencer Shay, who, after having been saved by Ms. Brooks from the raging seas, mistook her for a mermaid."

Spencer and Zoey chuckled.

Malcolm nodded. "And this gave me the following idea: There have been many movies about mermaids, most of them are toons, but my idea was about the following: Mr. Shay, you are a sculptor, right?"

Spencer nodded. "Sir, that's correct! Do you want to see my sculpture, made of many things that move? They made it into the Jonas Book of Records[[14]]"

Malcolm shrugged. "I've heard about it. But, no, that's not what I'm going to watch out for, rather, the idea is: A movie about a sculpture of a virgin that turns alive at certain times."

Spencer gasped. "And you expect me to make such a sculpture? One that turns alive?"

Malcolm looked dazed.

Freddie chuckled. "Spencer, making it appear to come alive can be made with movie tricks. Nothing magic or miraculous is involved!" Freddie was a hardcore realist who did not believe in anything magic.

Carly felt differently. She was kind of scared by a statue that turns alive, be it of a mermaid, a bigfoot, no matter what.

Malcolm nodded. "Your young friend is right. You are supposed to make a sculpture of a mermaid. The animation will be done by experts. Well, and I've heard that Mr. Benson, tech producer of _iCarly_, is sort of an expert."

Spencer nodded. "Yeah!"

Freddie beamed. "I would love to do that!"

Malcolm nodded. "OK, that has been suggested by Ms. Pensky, who has invented the green screen and other things you use in your show, and who would have almost become my daughter-in-law, if my son Logan had not been behaving in such a downright irresponsible manner."

Freddie looked at Quinn. "You have invented all that?"

Quinn nodded solemnly. "Yes, I did!"

Freddie stepped up to Quinn, hugging her. "Thanks! Our web show would be nothing without you."

Quinn sighed. "You strangle me."

Sam watched with mixed feelings.

Freddie asked. "So, what has that Logan guy done to you? Show it!"

Quinn sighed. "Please! I don't want to talk about it, not yet!"

Freddie sighed.

Sam grinned subtly. She would have grinned harder, if Carly had not pulled her elbow, demonstrating her disapproval.

Freddie sighed. "But I will need some assistant, won't I?"

Malcolm nodded solemnly. "That's correct!"

Freddie beamed. "May Ms. Pensky be my assistant? I mean, she has invented all that stuff, and …"

Malcolm shook his head. "Sorry, but no. Ms. Pensky is preparing for Caltech, which means she hasn't got the time to work on all that."

Freddie sighed.

Malcolm continued. "Your assistant will be Ms. Samantha Puckett."

Freddie was consternated. "Sam? But she doesn't know zilch …"

Malcolm coughed. "Ms. Puckett is a certified MPEG engineer.[[15]]"

Freddie remembered with dismay. And working with Sam as his assistant was going to be one big nightmare. He shuddered.

Sam grinned hysterically, until she felt Carly's elbow between her ribs.

Spencer grinned. "Any rules concerning how the mermaid should look like?"

Malcolm nodded. "Well, Ms. Zoey Brooks had inspired your fantasy, so she will be the model for the mermaid."

Zoey was flabbergasted. "Me?" What a birthday surprise!

Malcolm nodded solemnly. "More precisely, the sculpture will be placed on a little island near the coast."

The island Mr. Reese had been talking about was really just a sandbank with a rock, or two, some hundred yards off the beach. It wasn't visible except when the tide was low, and the sea was calm.

Spencer smiled. "OK, baby, I will do that!" He smiled at Carly.

Lola was a bit disappointed. "But, I want to be seen, too!"

Malcolm smiled. "Ms. Martinez, but of course you will be seen, as you are going to portray the best human friend of the mermaid, and the real central figure of the whole movie."

Lola jumped up and down, and then she bounced around.

Now Carly felt left out. She pouted.

Malcolm continued. "OK, let's see, we need a scripter for the show. My first idea was Chase Matthews, who had once written a wonderful play named _Zorka_[[16]], but he has reclined, as he connected it with some bad memories, whatever they were. Alas, I've heard that Ms. Carly Shay has written some cool plays, too, for Ridgeway School[[17]]. So I think that we take a chance on Carly. "

Carly coughed. How did Malcolm Reese get to know about that? Then she smiled. "That will be an honour for me!"

Marissa asked Chaunsee. "So, you're a real butler? That's impressive! Have you already served for a Lord in England, like in those old movies?"

Chaunsee shook his head. "mam, I've been educated at an English servants' school, but in Los Angeles."

Marissa was still impressed. "That's great! Too many men of today don't know how to behave."

Chaunsee smiled subtly.

After all, Dustin still had another birthday surprise on store for his elder sister.

* * *

**Time. **same day, late afternoon

**Place. **campus yard of the PCA

**People. **Carly Shay, Fredward Benson, Samantha Puckett, Marissa Benson, Spencer Shay, Zoey Brooks, Quinn Pensky, Lola Martinez, Dustin Brooks, Malcolm Reese, Chaunsee, Drake Parker (later), Joshuah Nichols (later), Neil (later), Gary (later), Lisa Perkins (later), Harper (later)

The guests and Zoey had been celebrating for hours, when Dustin's cellular phone vibrated again.

Zoey already anticipated even more guests. "Aw, you little brother of a …" She grinned.

Dustin smiled with mischief. Then he walked towards the parking lot.

The suspense among the celebrants grew.

Suddenly, a few guys with drums, guitars, and stuff appeared.

Zoey recognised their leader. "Drake!"

It was no other than Drake Parker[[18]] , the most gifted rock star of California.

Sam's and Freddie's eyes bugged out when they saw their rock idol in person, for the first time in their life!

Zoey hugged Dustin. "Thanks for that surprise!"

Dustin grinned enigmatically.

Drake shook hands with Zoey. "Hey! Long time no see! And happy birthday!"

Zoey smiled. "Thanks! Do you need another shirt design for your band?"

Drake shook his head. "It's your birthday, so we don't ask you for anything in return."

Joshuah Nichols, who was Drake's manager and step brother, grinned. "Happy birthday, Mrs. Brooks!"

Zoey thanked Josh. "So, you're a real manager? I hope a better one than the last jerk."

Josh smiled. "I'm not a professional. We are step-brothers, so I make it for the family. Really, I'm a freshman at Caltech."

Quinn Pensky's eyes bugged out. "Caltech? That's where I want to go, too. Are you into physics? Chemistry? Engineering?"

Josh nodded solemnly. "All of that. I like to buold magnets and laser cannons. But I've never made it to the state science fair." He sobbed.

Quinn beamed. "Cool! I like scientific experiments, too, and no accidental explosion may keep me from that!"

Josh smiled. "We could retreat into some silent room, and discuss your scientific records?"

Quinn liked that thought. "OK, you want to see my secret laboratory?"

Josh nodded solemnly, and he smiled.

Spencer squealed: "But, Josh, you can't …"

Drake grinned. "Let him, Spenciboy!"

Freddie choked. "Spenciboy?" Were they familiar with each other?

Carly hugged Drake. "OK, Drake is my cousin, so you know it."

Carly also hugged Harper, who seems to be a new member in Drake's band.[[19]]

Freddie and Sam were consternated. "Why did nobody tell us that Drake is Carly's cousin?"

Carly grinned nefariously.

Malcolm remarked that he was paying for the performance of Drake and his band, and that it was really another friend of Zoey who had arranged all that.

Lisa Perkins, a new member of Drake's band, and a friend of Zoey, snuck up to Ms. Brooks. "Happy birthday!".

Zoey smiled. "Aw, that's why you said that you didn't want to come to my party …"

Lisa grinned. "I'm their new lead singer."

Carly grinned. "Is Megan with you?" She explained unto Freddie and Sam that Megan was Drake's younger sister, and that she looked a lot like her cousin.

Drake shook his head. "I hope that she isn't." Drake explained that Megan used to cause an insane lot of trouble, whenever she was near Drake and Josh. Alas, he was so mistaken …

Malcolm explained that Drake's band was going to perform the theme for the movie about the mermaid.

Spencer cheered. "We've got one heck of a team for the new movie! We're going to sack Hollywood!"

Drake smiled. "May I choose an actress to be featured in my theme video?"

Malcolm nodded solemnly.

Drake beamed. "I choose Lola!"

Lola squealed "Yeah! Music videos are seen by many people, right?"

Malcolm nodded. "I hope that this one will be seen a lot, as it serves as a promo for the movie!"

Lola beamed with excitement. "Do we have to kiss in the video?"

Malcolm shook his head.

Lola pouted. "I've heard that Drake is a really good kisser."

Drake smiled. "Oh, people say that about me."

Drake scratched his skin. "Do you believe those rumours?"

Lola grinned. "I prefer to experience things on my own."

Drake smiled even more. "If only there was a way to find out …"

* * *

**Place. **behind a shrubbery on the campus

**People. **Nevel Papperman, Megan Parker

Nevel had been following Carly and her friends to California. He had hacked the GPS chip that Mrs. Benson had hidden in her son's head.

This had caused a short peeping sound in Freddie's head.

Now he was hiding right behind some shrubbery, and spying on the whole birthday party. He was thinking of a plan for unveiling some dangerous mermaids. Suddenly, he felt a impact in his ribs. "Ouch!" he turned around. He saw a girl that looked like Carly, but it was not Carly, as he had just seen her across the bush.

"This is my shrubbery," boomed Megan. "Who are you, what are you doing here?" She glared like a naughty witch.

Nevel should have been scared, but he was attracted by Megan's scary gaze. "Nevel Papperman, I'm on a mission of making certain people rue the day, until dystopia! You can't be Carly!"

Megan grinned. "Certainly not! My cousin is so weak-hearted, and excessively sentimental. Don't even dare to confuse us!" She glared demonically, but she was attracted by Nevel's powerfully, charismatic way of talking, like a prophet of a higher power. "I'm on a mission of making Drake's and Josh's life eternal hell. They are boobs!"

Nevel was puzzled. "Wow! First I thought that Carly was a dangerous mermaid, but now I know that she's just naïve. But she needs to rue that, too. And now she's going to cooperate with the 'boobs', in a moovie divulging blasphemically the mystery of arcane beings like mermaids! That calls for some serious trouble."

Megan grinned. "So we speak the same language? Oh, they are so going to flunk that movie!"

Nevel grinnd, and could not help but kiss Megan on one of her cheeks.

Megan smiled, and returned Nevel's kiss in kind. Then she unzipped her oboe, ready to play something in order to celebrate their schemish pact.

"A Smith Royal," remarked Nevel, his eyes twinkling for gleeful excitement.

Megan nodded. "Wow, you know it?"

Nevel grinned. "I play the piano[[20]]. "

Megan smiled. "I guess we should play something together …"

Nevel nodded, cackling with glee.

* * *

** Chapter 4. Queen Of Mermaids**

* * *

The title for the movie to make was found pretty fast: "Queen Of Mermaids".

Alas, there was a lot of serious and cumbersome work in front of the crew, but they were already looking forward to the final outcome.

* * *

**Time. **start of Christmas break

**Place. **loft of the Shay family

**People. **Spencer Shay, Carly Shay, Chase Matthews (later)

Carly was working on the script for the _Queen Of Mermaids_.

At the same time, Spencer was working on a wax figure of the mermaid.

Carly wondered why Spencer was only working on the tail.

Spencer sighed. "because I need Mrs. Brooks as a model for the upper part. And she isn't here, right now." He shrugged.

Carly accepted that excuse.

The door bell rang out.

Spencer went in order to open the door, his hands full or wax.

"Chase Matthews," the guy beyond the peephole replied.

Spencer opened the door. "Hello! We've been waiting for you!" He shook Chase's hands.

Chase startled when he felt drops of wax. "Whoaaah!" He floundered, and keeled over, slumping with his butt onto the ground.

Carly shook her hair. "Spencer!"

Chase grinned. "It's OK, it alkways happens to me."

Spencer shrugged. "I prefer setting things unwittingly on fire."

Chase sighed. "OK, I've come in order to proofread Carly's script."

Carly wondered. "I might have sent it as a mail attachment."

Chase shook his head. "I am in Seattle, in order to visit my friend Quinn Pensky."

Carly wondered. "Quinn is from Seattle?" _Why did she not get to know it earlier?_

Chase nodded.

Spencer shrugged. "I've got to fetch some more paint, be back later!" He waved at Carly and Chase, and then he bounded out.

Chase shrugged. "I haven't scared him away, have I scared him away?"

Carly chuckled. "No way! He is always like that …"

Chase sighed with relief. "OK, you're really busy, aren't you?"

Carly nodded. "So, why did you not write the script?"

Chase coughed. "When Zoey set foot on the campus of the Pacific Coast Academy, I startled, and rode my bike into a lamp post."

Carly was flabbergasted. "Oops! She must have been very impressive."

Chase nodded. "She is, indeed! Anyways, I had had such a crush on her, I had written a play just to get her to kiss me.[[21]]"

It didn't work out, as Logan, the worst jerk of my school, got the male rôle. I was horribly disappointed.

Carly comforted Chase. "Hmmm … writing a play just for such a purpose, who would do that?" She chuckled.

Chase nodded. "I'm crazy. Anyways, after three years and a half, I decided to fess up, but Zoey was in England with her parents."

Carly gasped. "Dustin's, er , Zoey's parents live in England?"

Chase nodded. "Well, when she heard about it, she came back to the PCA, and I moved to England, because I couldn't live without her."

Carly shed a few tears. "Poor Chase!"

Chase nodded. "I came back for junior prom, totally by surprise, and everything was wonderful, until Dustin told me that Zoey had a new boyfriend, his name was James, a tall, blond rake."

Carly choked. "That must have hurt!"

Chase sobbed. "The hell it did! Especially as I wanted to join Zoey to Maui for her summer job. She had to …"

Carly nodded. "OK, that's where I got to know her, we shipwrecked on Maui."

Chase moaned. "Ouch! Yeah, it did hurt. Now I've found a new wonderful girlfriend, her name is Addie Singer[[22]] , and she shares my endeavour for poetry and country guitar. Oh yeah, back to Zoey. She said that she had broken with him, but without reason. I can't swallow that. Maybe she would have left me, one day, without giving a reason, just because she thinks that her sandbox friend Jeff Morkins[[23]] might come back? Dustin likes me, but he also liked James. And he had been treated badly by Quinn and Logan, better, abused. This should teach you what a jerk Logan is. He didn't dare to admit publically to Quinn, so he forced her to abuse Dustin as a prom date, while Quinn forced him to abuse poor Stacy Dillsen. That's so foul. During the prom, Logan and Quinn came out, but that was vbecause Logan was disgusted by Stacy. Poor Dustin was so upset that he told everything after the prom night. "

Carly nodded. "I so believe it."

Chase nodded. "Dustin gave me a picture of James and Zoey kissing." He fumbled with his pockets. "Here it is! I keep it on me, as a warning."

Carly choked. "Jake Crendle? That's my ex-boyfriend."

Chase choked. "Sorry!"

Carly ruffled Chase's bushy hair. "It's not your fault that this guy makes out with so many girls. So, you know Dustin very well?" Carly blushed.

Chase chuckled. "Somewhat, sure, three years are a long time. He's pretty sweet and cool."

Carly swooned. "Do you know whether he's got a girlfriend?"

Chase shook his head. "Hardly. He has made bad experiences with a girl names Trisha Kirby, who looks like that girl on the picture over there. She also calls herself Melanie Puckett." He pointed at a picture of Sam.

"Poor Dustin! He deserves something better!" Carly talked about Sam. "She has also got a monocygotic twin sister who lives at a boarding school. Must be her …" She shrugged.

Chase nodded. "OK, Melanie is now a cheerleader at the PCA, and engaged to the quarterback, Vince Blake." He overread the script. "Looks cool!"

At this point, Spencer came back.

Carly and Chase greeted the master sculptor.

Spencer smiled. "Look, what I've found on the junkyard! I guess I should make a Christmas tree of it!"

Carly wasn't pleased.

Chase chuckled. "Why do you ask about Dustin, anyways?"

Carly blushed.

Spencer grinned. "Does my little sister have a crush?" HGe tickled Carly mercilessly.

Carly tried to deny everything, but she was miserable at that. "OK, problem is, Dustin isn't really tall and hot, I like him for a few other things. But this would make me uncool, and the viewers of iCarly want a cool Carly." She sighed bitterly.

* * *

**Place. **Reese Studios, California.

**People. **Samantha Puckett, Fredward Benson, Malcolm Reese, Drake Parker, Lisa Perkins (background), Harper (background), Gary (background), Neil (background), Lola Martinez

The works on the theme clip were already in steady progress.

Freddie and Sam, on the other hand, poked ech other hard, as they wanted to be make the best shots of Lola Martinez.

"Lola is so hot," remarked Freddie. He launched a horny gaze at the actress.

Sam grumbled. "Dream on, dorkward!"

Lola was slightly annoyed by Freddie's postures. "Get away, you horny dweeb and poor excuse of a kisser!"

Freddie blew billowing smoke through his nostrils. He was deeply hurt by Lola's remark.

Sam shook her head. "Go and concentrate on our job!"

Malcolm shook his head. "I fear that we have to repeat this scene, after a break. And the tech team should really be more careful!"

Freddie complained. "How does she know that I'm a bad kisser?"

Sam chuckled. "Everyone knows that."

Freddie shrugged. "How so?"

Sam grinned. "Because you're a dorkward, and dorkwards are bad kissers by nature."

Freddie almost exploded.

Sam cackled mercilessly. "Or they asked Valerie."

Freddie gagged. "Do you have to remember her to me? Anyways, we haven't really kissed."

Sam shrugged. "Then any other of your girls …"

Freddie shrugged. "No such thing!"

Sam stomped her feet.

Suddenly, they saw Drake step up to Lola.

Lola grinned. "OK, do you want to proof that you deserve the rumours claiming you as the best kissers around?"

Drake grinned. "Sure!"

Lola pulled Drake into a lingering, passionate kiss.

Both of them beamed brightly.

Freddie and Sam sobbed.

Sam sighed. "Awe, what a couple! You want to say that you've never kissed before?"

Freddie nodded. "But don't tell it around! My life will be ruined."

Sam grinned. But she couldn't taunt him, because she envied Drake and Lola so much. She had to confess something. "I haven't either. But don't tell anyone, especially Carly, she thinks that I'm a serial kisser."

Freddie had an idea. "Do you mind us getting it done? Just so we don't have to be ashamed anymore?"

Sam shrugged. "If it has to be …" She didn't mind. After having seen Lola's and Drake's super-kiss, it was all the same to her.

Freddie's and Sam's lips locked for a few seconds.

Malcolm didn't see them when he called the team back to the stage.

Freddie shrugged. "Oh no, we have forgotten to interrupt the recording!"

Sam sighed. "Do you mean … we are visible on …"

Freddie moaned. "Everything we've said and done is now archieved."

Sam and Freddie trembled. "Oh nooooooo!"

Sam wanted to do something to delete the scenes.

Alas, she didn't know that it was too late for doing so …

* * *

**Place. **Nevel's apartment

**People. **Nevel Papperman, Megan Parker (laptop)

Nevel grinned after he had started the video chat session with Megan. "Hi Megs, you won't believe what I had just come to see. You know, I interceive the shootings of the _Queen Of Mermaids_, especially the theme clip." Nevel sent Megan the kissing scene.

Megan gagged. "Ouch, it's so gross! Freddie and Sam. Carly won't like to see that."

Nevel grinned. "Oh, she sure won't!"

Megan chuckled. "OK, won't they try to delete it?"

Nevel nodded. "They sure will try, but I will con them with a Trojan Horse."

Megan grinned nefariously. "Oh, we are one heck of a bunch of schemers!"

Nevel smiled in total agreement.

* * *

**Time. **One week later

**Place. **loft of the Shay family

**People. **Carly Shay, Spencer Shay

Carly was excited when she inserted a DVD of the theme clip of _Queen Of Mermaids_. She had received it from Malcolm Reese, because she needed to integreate the background informations of the clip into the script.

Spencer was ready to watch it with Carly.

Carly smiled. "Cool! Who would have thought that Sam was a great tech assistant?"

Spencer grinned. "I wouldn't!"

Carly chuckled. But what was that? Sam and Freddie talked about kissing? Oh no, they … Carly threw up.

Spencer shook Carly. "Are you OK?" He decided to fetch a bucket and a broom, and Mrs. Benson.

Carly was still pale. "How can Sam and Freddie dare to do that? Thy feign to be hostile, all the time, but when I turn away from them, they make out, behind my back!"

Marissa stormed in. "Fredward? Not that loose girl!" She sobbed uncontrollably.

Spencer shrugged helplessly.

Mrs. Benson cleaned the mess.

Spencer hugged Carly, in a desperate attempt of comforting her.

Mrs. Benson stormed out. "It hurts so much being in-law related to a bunch of criminals!" She started weeping piteously.

Carly had stobbed sobbing. "It sucks so much being the third wheel of a bicycle."

Spencer ruffled Carly's hair. "OK. Why don't you webchat a bit with Dustin Brooks?"

Carly blushed.

Spencer chuckled. "I know, you think it's unclool…"

Carly sighed. "My fans want me cool, and doing uncool stuff like liking a boy who is not extremely hot and tall will trash my quota, regardless of how much I like him because he's not as shallow as other boys in his age, and above … Freddie, Ben Hoopsher[[24]], Jake Crendle, Griffin, and so on. "

Spencer nodded. "But think of Oprah Winfrey, the favourite show host of your favourite step-cousin."

Carly coughed. "Josh is a bit weird, but Oprah is somewhat my example to live up to."

Spencer nodded. "OK, then you will see, Oprah has done quite a few things in her career that have been deemed uncool. But she still has got a great fanbase. Those who are your true fans will not drop you. It's like, many think of my sculptures as uncool, such as grandpa, but those who like them won't care."

Carly sighed with relief. "OK, I'll think about it."

Spencer ruffled Carly's hair. "When Zoey models for the mermaid, you may sure take care of Dustin."

Carly looked at the complete tail of the mermaid. "When will you shape the top of the mermaid?"

Spencer sighed. "During spring-break."

Carly smiled. But she saw that Spencer swooned sublimninally when he talked about Zoey. "Hey, why does Zoey make your eyes glow?"

Spencer shrugged. "Oh, for no reason …"

Carly poked Spencer in a sensitive spot. "Come on, tell me!"

Spencer sighed. "I've got a hard time to getting over my dream mermaid. Of course, I know that the real Zoey is just a girl."

Carly smiled. "Hey, Dustin is very proud of her."

Spencer chuckled. "Sure, she's really great as a girl, but it's the mermaid that makes me swoon."

Carly shrugged. "maybe she is kind of a mermaid."

Spencer looked flabbergasted.

Carly giggled. "Really, see, mermaids often get ships to wreck . And Zoey got at least two boys to wreck themselves, Chase and James. Chase fell off a bike, from a wall, and stuff. She didn't do that on purpose. It just happened."

Spencer sighed. "Do you think I could strand as well?"

Carly snickered. "You're so prone to doing so. Well, so was Chase, but still. I better come with you to Hollywood when you sculpt the mermaid."

Spencer sighed. "When she models, you will sure get to take care of Dustin …"Then he kissed Carly on the top of her head.

Carly smiled. "OK! Southern California is so downright wonderful in spring! But you need to be careful with Zoey, too!"

Spencer sighed. "OK, I will!"

* * *

**Time. **spring break

**Place. **lounge of Brenner Hall, Pacific Coast Academy

**People. **Carly Shay, Dustin Brooks, Zoey Brook, Spencer Shay, some anonymous pupils (background)

Spencer and Carly met Zoey and Dustin in the lounge.

Spencer and Zoey shook hands.

Spencer smiled. "Would Dustin be kind enough to keep care of carly?"

Dustin blushed deeply.

Spencer smiled. "Maybe I should send Carly to this school. So Dustin will explain unto her what life on here is like."

Zoey shrugged. "OK. Now let's start the modelling."

Spencer smiled. "OK, would you please gaze like a mermaid, I mean …"

Zoey shrugged. "This way? Or that way?"

Spencer sighed. "Somehow, it is hard to imagine when you are here in a hall. Can't we go to the beach?"

Zoey nodded. "OK! Dustin, I'll be back ere the set of sun, or so I think."

Carly smiled. "OK, we'll see! So, Dustin, where do you want to show me first?" She blushed excessively.

Dustin blushed back. "Anywhere you want to!" His voice was terribly timid.

* * *

**Place. **beach of the PCA

**People. **Zoey Brooks, Spencer Shay

Spencer and Zoey had reached the beach.

Zoey smiled. "Wow! We may see the island now!"

Spencer nodded. "That's where the sculpture will be stuck for the shootings?"

Zoey grinned. "Of course. I've been there only once, and not even really. Chase rowed me there in a little boat. But we had to return when the sea went rougher."

Spencer sighed. "I'd like watch you sitting there, as a model for my mermaid."

Zoey smiled. "I'd need a boat, or a swimming suit, though. Maybe tomorrow?"

Spencer sighed. "OK, let's start with the outlines, we may finish it when you are on the sandbank."

Zoey nodded solemnly. She started posing as a mermaid. "You seem to have quite an affinity to water, don't you?"

Spencer fainted. "How would you know?"

Zoey sighed. "Because you chose to traverse the Pacific in a fishing boat? Granted, you've told us that your comrade Socko is responsible for that, but, remember, there is no Socko! Quinn's cousin sold you the socks."

Spencer sighed. "Damn, you're too smart, it's true, Socko has always been an imaginary scapegoat. It started when I told little Carly a good-night story. Then Socko became such a habit …"

Zoey moaned. "Oh yeah, I've told Dustin quite a few stories, too. But now, as his guardian, I need to be more careful, and so should you!"

Spencer bowed in shame. "Probably … And it's true, I'm addicted to seas, lakes, rivers … I love boats, and always wanted to have my own, I love fishing at midnight, my favourite pets are goldfish …"

Zoey chuckled.

Spencer grinned. "I once wanted to make a sculpture of Sam, and it ended up looking like a fish[[25]] , quite unwittingly …"

Zoey grinned. "You know that you're supposed to sculped my human head, not a fish?"

Spencer sighed. "Sure, lady!"

Zoey nodded. "OK. You must love swimming and diving, don't you?"

Spencer beamed. "Yeah, I often dive in lakes, looking for lost things, such as golf balls[[26]] ."

Zoey smiled. "Cool! So I guess that you've been a bit audacious when you approached Hawaii, right?"

Spencer admitted to that. "I know, I shouldn't have done that …"

Zoey nodded. "Just promise to be more responsible with Carly, and everything will be fine."

Spencer nodded. "OK! Alas, you are really great, I don't understand why Chase has dropped you. Apparently, he had almost tortured himself to death, wanting you, but lacking the guts to fess up, for three long years."

Zoey shrugged sadly. "I don't know, it just happened. The thing with James."

Spencer stomped his feet. "James is such a windbag. Many decent girls fell for him, such as Carly."

Zoey sighed deeply. "At least Carly seems to like Dustin an insane lot, by now. And he has had a lot of bad luck with girls, although he really respects them, not like Logan or Drake."

Spencer nodded. "He's so sweet, he really deserves Carly."

Zoey smiled. "OK, enough for today, the sculpture already looks quite cool. Let's look after Carly and Dustin!"

Spencer agreed wholeheartedly.

* * *

** Chapter 5. Première**

* * *

The shootings for the movie went along smoothly.

For this reason, Malcolm Reese brought the movie into the theatres at the end of the summer, one year after Carly and her friends had hit the coast of Maui in an ungraceful manner.

* * *

**Time. **the fall after

**Place. **cafeteria of Premiére Theater, San Diego

**People. **Helen Baxter, Carly Shay, Fredward Benson, Spencer Shay (background), Samantha Puckett, Malcolm Reese, Drake Parker, Lola Martinez, Harper (background), Lisa Perkins (background), Gary (background), Neil (background), Joshuah Nichols, Gavin, Crazy Steve, Dustin Brooks, Zoey Brooks (background), Nevel Papperman (hidden), Megan Parker (hidden), various reporters (background), various actors (background)

The première party took place in Première Theater, San Diego Belleview.

Helen Baxter, a former singer and actress, owned this theatre, along with a few others. She was a long-term friend and former co-star of Malcolm Reese. Now she welcomed the production team, and the guests.

Sam did not hesitate going for the buffet. "Pork chops!" She rubbed her tummy, beaming brightly. "Don't you want some, too, fredweird?"

Freddie laughed. "Maybe! Do you know that we can be lucky that the clip of our first kiss had made it into the promo clip?"

Sam nodded. "Otherwise, we would have tried to hide forever, and you would have continued hitting on Carly, although you've so known how much this was doomed for failure. But we would hardly have stayed a couple."

Freddie nodded. Under different circumstances, they would have pretended that nothing had happened, until the first excitement had puffed away, and they could have thought of the whole thing as a one-time slip, just for the sake of having kissed.

Malcolm and Helen gave endlessly long speeches.

Nobody really listened.

Josh Nichols was not only a student at Caltech, and manager of Drake, but he was also an employee at Helen's theatres. He had started here in Belleview, but he had taken over the branch in Pasadena when he moved over there for his studies. Now he commanded his colleagues Gavin and Steve, a psychopathic cousin of Spencer's from the other side of the family, mercilessly around.

Carly had come a long way. In acting with a feeling of being an intruder next to Sam and Freddie, she had made the viewer rates drop like nobody's business. She didn't have any qualms asking grandpa to transfer her to the Pacific Coast Academy, where she was going to start with that fall.

Was this the end of _iCarly_?

Being foremost a fan of the show, Dustin sobbed bitterly, as his whole idea with getting Malcolm and Hollywood involved was going to break the show.

Carly sighed. "Dustin, I know that you didn't want to hurt the show, you saw it as a great chance for us, just as did we."

Spencer shrugged. "Can't you find a new co-mod at the PCA, and a new tech producer?"

Dustin moaned. "There will be pupils that qualify for that task, certainly, but it will not be the same."

Carly agreed. She was desperate. For many months, she had believed that the eternal fights between Sam and Freddie had been the greatest danger for _iCarly_, alas, now they got along too well, and it effected the end of the show. R.I.P!

Sam had now emptied half of the buffet, when Drake and his band had started playing a few tunes.

Freddie and Sam would have liked to continue the show, but they came to see that it was impossible to make Carly feel as an important part of the trio, not as an appendix that stuck out like a sore thumb.

There was only one person, well, two of them, who had wanted things to turn out like that, and nobody knew that he, or they, were around, hidden in the trash bins: Nevel Papperman and Megan Parker!

There was no time left for mourning, as Helen announced the start of the première presentation of _Queen Of Mermaids_.

* * *

The movie was over, and the guests returned to the cafeteria.

They talked about the movie and its production.

Basically, it was about a statue of a mermaid that appeared a few hundred yards off the shore.

A girl portrayed by Lola Martinez visited the statue, and figured that it turned into a mermaid every full moon. She became the best human friend of the mermaid.

Later, the girl's elder brother, portrayed by Orlando Bloom, who had not believed in the report about the mermaid, swam up to the sculpture on a normal day. He could not resist kissing the sculpture.

The sculpture turned alive again, this time for good.

Alas, the boy turned into a merman.

Both of them disappeared into the ocean, waving one last time at Lola's character, and thereupon ruled the seas as mermaid queen and merking.

Sam and Freddie were deeply touched.

The movie reminded them about how they had to leave Carly sidelined, once they had started a new life as a couple.

They pitied Carly, but they could not help it happening the way it di. Alas, Sam and Freddie were excessively admired for their animation.

Malcolm Reese decided to offer them a permanent contract, once they were done with school.

Also Zoey was impressed by Freddie's and Sam's incredible technological skills. "I've almost thought that I had really turned into a mermaid. Wow!"

At the same time, Lola and Drake impressed the others with their otherworldly kissing skills, before the band took up playing _Makes Me Happy_[[27]]

Spencer chuckled.

Freddie and Sam swooned at the thought of their first kiss. Then they wished Carly good luck at her new school. "It is a great school, and then there's Dustin. Don't miss us too much, please!"

Dustin blushed. "I would have waited for Carly until college, if that had saved the show!"

Carly nodded. "I know, sweetie! We will find new friedns to make the show with."

Freddie and Sam nodded. "But we still stay friends."

Dustin and Carly agreed wholeheartedly.

Suddenly, Megan and Nevel jumped into the scene, unbeknownst was the fact from whence they came.

Nevel giggled. "Do you rue it?"

Megan beamed with Glee.

Carly was consternated. "Nevel! Megan! What are you doing here?"

Nevel and Megan grinned. "We've terminated iCarly! Yeah! By preventing the kissing scene from getting deleted, we brought you down." They hight-fived, and they started dancing. "We wanted to spoil the movie, but ruining iCarly this unpredictable way was much more cool."

Carly grunted.

Sam and Freddie wanted to punch Megan's and Nevel's noses flat.

Carly prevented them from doing so. "Freddie! Sam! You should rather thank them, otherwise you would not be a happy couple."

Freddie and Sam sighed. "So true!"

Megan and Nevel sighed. "But Carly is now coming to the Pacific Coast Academy."

Carly nodded, ruffling Dustin's hair.

Dustin smiled, then he hugged Carly with one arm.

Nevel and megan grinned. "So are we! Looking forward to that?"

Carly, Dustin, Freddie, and Sam went pale.

Nevel and Megan grinned.

Carly stomped her feet.

Nevel offered to be occasional tech producer of the webcasts.

Megan nodded. "I might get into it, too."

Carly was consternated.

Nevel grinned. "And Melanie wants to serve as a co-commentator."

Carly choked.

Sam was surprised, but … "Hey! That's not as really bad idea!"

Megan chuckled. "Also Missy Robinson will come to our new school."

Carly's feelings were mixed. "Maybe we need to give it a try."

Nevel grinned. "Maybe Megan and I, we have to cut down a bit on annoying you, anyways."

Megan kissed Nevel's temples. "We want to spend more time thinking about each other, and about our possible career as instrumental players."

Carly shrugged. "No problem with that!"

Spencer swooned. "Why can't Zoey be a real mermaid, then I would turn into a merman for her." He blushed deeply.

Zoey sighed, blushing as well. "Oh, Spencer, but maybe tyou want to come with me to diving vacations around the Bahamas, next summer? That's almost like turning into merfolk!"

carly and Dustin wondered. What were thier adult siblings about doing?

Spencer bounced around, cheering like crazy.

Zoey grinned. "Sorry, but I really like your brother. He has a good taste for clothes, he likes fighting for justice, and he loves lakes, ponds, rivers, oceans …"

* * *

Spencer and Zoey became sort of a couple, for Zoey showed Spencer how easy it is to be artistically creative , but still responsible, and Spencer was there when Zoey was in a crisis because she had deciced to abandon law school for the sake of becomming a full time professional fashion designer, against her parents' will.

The new _iCarly_ was going to be a great show, down to Carly's increased fame as a playwright for _Queen Of Mermaids_, although it was not like the good old show back at Seattle.

But, in the end, the trio was going to be reunited as a regular show by Malcolm Reese's productions.

Nevel and Megan kept their promises, and now they are playing the bridal chorus at the weddings of Carly and Dustin, and that of Freddie and Sam.

* * *

** The End**

* * *

[[1] ]from J. 's _Peter Pan_ which I don't own

* * *

[[2] ]cf. _iHatch Chicks_

* * *

[[3] ]cf. _iWill Date Freddie_

* * *

[[4] ]cf. _iSaw Him First_

* * *

[[5] ]xf. _iSaw Him First_

* * *

[[6] ]cf. _iWin A Date_

* * *

[[7] ]cf. _iWant To Stay With Spencer_

* * *

[[8] ]cf. _iHeart Arts_

* * *

[[9] ]cf. _iStakeout_

* * *

[[10] ]cf. _Spring Break-Up_

* * *

[[11] ]cf. _Spring Break-Up_

* * *

[[12] ]cf. _iTake On Dingo_

* * *

[[13] ]cd. _iCarly Saves TV_

* * *

[[14] ]cf. _iWant A Record_

* * *

[[15] ]cf. _iStake Out_, where Sam, unlike Freddie, knew the meaning of MPEG as _Moving Pictures Expert Group_

* * *

[[16] ]cf. _Zoey 101_ : _The Play_

* * *

[[17] ]cf. _iSaw Him First_

* * *

[[18] ]Drake Bell's guest role in _Zoey 101_ : _Spring Fling_ is here identified with Drake Parker

* * *

[[19] ]cf. _iCarly Saves TV_

* * *

[[20] ]cf. _iRue The Day_

* * *

[[21] ]cf. _Zoey 101_ : _The Play_.

* * *

[[22] ]star of _Unfabulous_ which I don't own, also a came on _Drake & Josh_ : _Honor Council_

* * *

[[23] ]cf. _Zoey 101_ : _Vince Is Back_

* * *

[[24] ]mentioned in _iKiss_

* * *

[[25] ]cf. _iSpy A Mean Teacher_

* * *

[[26] ]cf. _iGot Detention_

* * *

[[27] ]song by Drake Bell which I don't own


End file.
